Friday, 15 June 2012

Still Hanging out at the Hospital

     It's Friday night, and we've just left Jacob with a fantastic nurse!!  She had Jacob several times with his last admission in March, and we grew to appreciate her more than words can say.   It's so much easier to leave Jacob with someone who is comfortable and experienced with him.  Most of the nurses have really learned to expect the unexpected with Jacob.   He can be challenging to say the least. 

     Paul and I were expecting to see how today went and make a decision from there whether or not we go home tomorrow.  He was stable last night and thankfully slept most of the night.  Today he had the oxygen reduced quite a bit, so currently he is on the same amount as when we came to the hospital.  He had a slightly elevated temperature this afternoon, which was a little concerning, so we'll have to watch what happens with that.  It was confirmed today that Jacob's pneumonia isn't bacterial.  They've sent away a test to see whether or not it's a viral infection in his lungs.  Hopefully we'll see those results tomorrow.  Our dear palliative nurse was still quite concerned with his colour this afternoon, so she adviced we stay till Sunday (if he stays stable.)  We don't want to rush home and then have to rush back to the hospital.  We've done that once, and we'll be far more cautious now. 

     Today was filled with medical conversations with many people.  Amongst them all we had some special visits from family and friends (that makes any day easier:)  Most of the talks were about the easier things to talk about regarding Jacob.  The palliative care nurse wasn't one of those easy conversations.  She says things how they are.  We rely on her so much!  She really puts things into perspective for us.  She's never worked with anyone with Jacob's condition, but has seen similar situations, which is very beneficial.  It's such a wealth of knowledge to have her beside us.  We were talking about what makes Paul and I so strong ( her eyes.)  She firmly believes that it's our faith.  I told her that on the outside it might look ok, but inside it's quite often a heavy burden. I feel so often that I'm sinking in the waves.  I feel faithless, so self centered, so often consumed with my own fears.  She then went on to say that faith gets tested during the hard times.  It's easy to have faith when things are going along well, but when we are struggling with something, it's much harder.  Yet, that's faith - believing when we don't see the outcome, or even see that it's going against what we want.   How we need to be upheld on His everlasting arms, moment by moment! 


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