He's Back

Yesterday I picked up Jacob from the respite home.  Upon my arrival there, I found him in the arms of Holly, an amazingly spunky nurse.  She has a passion for special needs kids that is simply beautiful.  I expected to find Jacob the same way I left him on Monday.  Not so.  He was back on oxygen.  His lungs were not at their prime.  He was so full of phlegm it was scary.  Needless to say, the ride home was stressful.  He was choking, coughing and spitting up all over the place.  I love the 401, because you get places quick, but at times like that, I'd much prefer back roads, where it's easy to pull over and care for him properly.

Today was a totally different day than yesterday.  I woke up to find Jacob almost completely weaned off the oxygen and his lungs perfectly clear.  Bizarre.  There's no explanation.  Talk about emotionally draining.  One day we are fearing a pneumonia may be setting in, the next day he gets a clean bill of health from the visiting nurse.  

We're living these days not knowing what to think.  Hind sight is always 20-20!  Things become somewhat clear when we look at the past, but in the present, it's hard to know what's what.  We are continuing down the road of uncharted territory.  Many days I wish the road could be slightly charted.  That's not to be our lot with Jacob.  We know God has a divine reason for this, yet it's getting harder every day dealing with so many unknowns!!  Every day we live with all the fears and cares, it drains more and more of our strength.  Yet, God has promised He will not give more than we can bear.  It can get painfully difficult to feel that.

I've listened to a topic on grief which I found very beneficial.  Rev. Vergunst knows first hand what grief is, as his first wife passed away due to cancer.  It's nice to listen to someone who can speak from experience.  Much of what he spoke about we could relate to.  We have a weighty task set before us, considering we have 3 children who's grief process will continually more difficult!

Breanne spending some quality time with her brother.  It's beautiful to see her taking the initiative to pick him up and console him when he really needs some snuggles.